The last couple of days have been really hectic, crazy, full of nerves and phone calls.... but it was sooo worth it!
Every time a graduation comes around, I start feeling subconsciously bad about myself, slightly ashamed even. I went to college after high school, but after my first year I was burnt out. It was during that time that Tim and I got all mushy and junk and decided to get married and start a family. I have loved being a Mommy more than any other job I've ever done.
After the B was born, I went back to school, but it was slow going. I have found it increasingly difficult to figure out just exactly what it is that I want to DO as a "grown-up," other than motherhood. I changed my major at least three times. I had to stop and take breaks so that I could work full time and take care of the kids. Somewhere along the line, I just stopped trying to go back. I'd think about it every now and again, and would then get discouraged by all the "but who would watch the kids while I'm gone" things and just forget all about it. Deep down, though, I felt like a failure.
With the two recent graduations in our family, and my older sister having already graduated from college as well, my parents have been turning their sights on me again and wondering out loud when/if I was ever going to complete my degree. I finally decided to push down all the nerves and the guilt and just make a few phone calls to see what I was lacking in completing my degree.
Apparently, I completed my degree back in December of 2007! WHAT?! How come nobody ever told ME?!!! I've spent the last three years ducking my head whenever the word graduation gets mentioned, and I'm DONE?! I'M DONE!!! So yeah, I'm going up to the school today, after my check up with Dr. B, to order my official diploma. I feel as though a weight has been lifted, and that I can finally hold my head up a little bit more. I didn't get to walk, but who cares?! I have the degree and soon will have the diploma, and no one can take that from me. Should I decide to continue forward, I won't have to start all over, I can just move forward.
I feel all kinda giddy and stuff! Plus, Momma and Papa are all excited as well. I think it is a weight lifted from my father's shoulders as well. I called Tim at work and he's already talking about buying a frame for my diploma, which is very mushy and gushy and all, but it's also great. It's just.... great.
** Just wanted to add some more good news! I just got back from my check up with Dr. B and he said the last ultrasound report came back really positive. Things are getting to look pretty much normal and Lena's fetal growth is right on track. He sounded VERY excited, and I am in a word: relieved. He said we will probably do one or two more ultrasounds along the way to delivery just to keep an eye on things and make sure they are still going our way, but that for now, things are looking really good. Next week is my glucose test, so here's hoping that all comes back normal as well.
I have been having some dizzy spells and funny vision things going on the last couple of weeks that had me a little concerned, but Dr. B thinks it is most likely just the heat. My blood pressure was lower than usual today, so he said I'm probably just getting dehydrated and over heated, which can happen very easily when pregnant. I'm to drink lots and lots of water and stay out of the heat and direct sun as much as possible. If I venture out I'm supposed to bring lots of water with me, and wear good sun screen. I'm glad I went today, because my brother's high school graduation is in two days and it's OUT SIDE in the icky heat. Guess who's packing a water bottle? I'm also to sit or lie down if I start feeling woozy so that I don't end up falling down or passing out.
Other than the southern summer being really bad for pregnant ladies, every thing was normal and healthy! My diploma will be here by the end of next week and while I was at the school paying for it, I saw a flier that caught my attention so I may end up doing more school after all. That remains to be seen, but for now, the good news just keeps on coming! **