Random Things

Here are a few random things that I've decided on in the last few days:

1. I'm going to cloth diaper. Part of our income tax return is going to be invested in a few different types of cloth diapers for us to try with Calvin. Once I decide what works for us, I will begin working on building a stash for both him and the new baby. I've also decided that rather than doing any sort of baby shower, when people ask what we need, I'm going to stick to diapers. We don't really need any cribs or bouncy seats or strollers or clothes or for goodness sakes BLANKETS. Okay? We GOT blankets!


2. I'm not going to do the midwife. After a really long talk with my best friend (who I would like to point out had a midwife for all three of her children) I have just decided that I'm going to stay where I am already comfortable, rather than trying to adjust all over again to a new regime and a new person. No, I didn't like the ultrasound tech, but she isn't in any way affiliated with my doctor, who I really happen to like and am comfortable with. He already delivered Calvin for me, and he was WONDERFUL throughout the entire pregnancy. He gave me his home number in case I wanted to ask him things when he wasn't at work. He never acted like I was over-reacting when I had questions. He never forced or even voiced his opinions on me. When I first sat down to meet him he explained that since I had already had one baby more than he ever did that we would do things my way. If I want no drugs, then we do no drugs and vice versa. If I want to wait for the baby, then we wait for the baby. If I want to induce, then we induce. Basically, I call the shots and he does what I decide is best for me. So I'm just going to continue seeing him for this pregnancy too.


3. I want to name the baby Stella if it should be a girl. And yes, I will find out. We always opt to know ahead of time. I haven't had any luck deciding on a boy name yet. I like slightly older more classic names, but I also don't like to necessarily go with what's on the top of the popular baby names list either. Plus, I think Stella fits in nicely with Nadia and Calvin. Still totally out on the boy names though. Feel Free to suggest.

Contemplating

Ever since we found out I am pregnant again, I have been doing A LOT of thinking. My mind seems to stay on the highest setting, just whirring and rumbling non stop. One of the things I've been churning over and over in there is the possibility of experiencing this pregnancy with a midwife rather than with the doctor.

Yesterday, I had an ultrasound scheduled to help us pin down a due date and just to check things over. Having been more along the 12 week area with both of my first children when I had my first ultrasound, and only being 7 weeks yesterday, I was rather surprised at the uh.... KIND of ultrasound I was going to be having. I seriously had NO IDEA until the technician came in there and without any kind of warning instructed me on how to insert the uh... thing? probe? She was overall, unpleasant, and not just because of the way in which she was wielding that thing either. She was brisk and snappish and she kept asking me questions and then cutting off my answers to "move things along." She didn't even turn the screen around where I could see anything. She kept her end of the conversation to as few words as possible:

"Baby."


"Heartbeat."


"Due date about September 13th."


And we were done. That kind of attitude and treatment is one of the biggest reasons I've considered a midwife. I haven't ever had any major complications with my pregnancies, though my delivery of Ya-Ya did have a few. Still, I'm a major worrier and I don't know if I would have the courage to go through with a birth without having the safety net of a hospital staff on hand. Plus, I like having the ultrasound later on so I can know what the baby is before it gets here.

As you can see, I'm still very much on the fence of the whole thing. I have a lot of questions and am working on researching some of them on the internet as well as possibly planning a visit with a midwife to get some first hand info.

In either case, so far this pregnancy is going as well as can be expected. I don't know if it's all in my head or not, but I seem to be experiencing some pregnancy symptoms that don't usually occur until much later. Primarily being leg cramps. Oh my gosh, they are HORRIBLE lately.

In other news, we had a few days last week of 75 degree, sunny weather, and now it's cold again. I'm ready for spring already.

Diapers In Question

So lately I've been seriously considering cloth diapering. I had already pretty much decided to give it a go with Calvin because I'm tired of buying disposables. They are expensive, even the "cheap" brands, and I hate the times when we run out and have to figure out where to come up with the extra cash to go buy a pack. I hate not having another option.

That, coupled with the fact that we will soon be blessed with another little one has pretty much made up my mind on the cloth diapers. I DO NOT want to have be purchasing disposables for TWO babies. We will go broke. Quickly. Plus, I feel kinda icky throwing them all away.

But apparently it's not as simple as choosing cloth diapers these days. I mean... have you looked around the cloth diapering arena lately? I have no idea where to start. Ideally, I would like to go with a one size diaper that way I can use them for both the new baby and the bigger baby. It seems a less expensive route is to go with the pocket type diapers which consist of a diaper cover that functions much like a disposable and an insert which is basically a pre-fold diaper stuffed inside the outer pocket. I would like to eventually have enough cloth diapers that I can go about 2-3 days before laundering them. I figure that way, I can buy a pack of disposables for emergencies, for when I'm doing the laundering, and for like baby sitters and stuff... but at least then it's only a once in awhile thing and not a once or twice week purchase. I'm thinking I will just buy a small starter pack to try out with Calvin... and then build from there.

Have any of you used cloth diapers? What works for you? Have any of you successfully made your own? I'm not entirely confident in my sewing skills enough to try it. I'm pretty sure I could manage making my own pre-fold inserts... but am not sure I could pull off the outer diaper. Any advice? Suggestions? I figure I'll get the best/most advice from the blog world.

Consider Me Comforted

So I started some pintos soaking last night for tonight's supper and then threw em in the crock pot this morning with a few slices of bacon and let them simmer alllllll day. A little salt, some pepper, some creole seasoning, onion powder and garlic powder (i'd use the veggies but the hubby is opposed to "bits" in his food)... and they were perfect! I made a pan of corn bread in the cast iron skillet to go with them and now ... two bowls of beans later all I need is a nap.

Ya-ya actually ate a small bowl of beans and then... Hold the phone!... she asked for some of the left over spicy chicken stew from yesterday!!! HOT DOG! See... getting Ya-ya to eat more than junk food is usually a fight. She usually spends the entire dinner time bargaining her way through.

"How many more bites do I have to eat before I can get up?"

"If I eat three more bites, can a I have a cookie?"

You can see she is concerned with only eating as little as she can possibly get away with. I am of the mindset that you shouldn't force a child to clean their plate off because it teaches them bad eating habits, but if I only put 5 greenbeans on her plate she should be able to finish that... don't you think? Anyway, I was completely floored that she actually asked for not only MORE supper, but for left overs from last night. The stew is definitely a keeper.

I decided to try this recipe for a No Bake peanut butter pie. The recipe made enough for me to fill 3 oreo pie crusts, even though recipe said it made only 2. Considering that I was taste testing the whole way through, I'm thinking it's probably a good thing it made an extra pie.....because I'm not going to be able resist eating some before monday. I'm hoping that I can control myself enough not to go hide in the closet with a pie and a spoon and just go at it. I mean come on... it's like a giant refridgerated reese's cup. Mmmmmmm peanut butttttterrrr.

Today's Mission

Should you choose to accept it... is to help me find a GOOD recipe for peanut butter pie. One of my friends is having a birthday and doesn't like cake. Now I know what you're thinking. Who in their right mind DOES NOT LIKE CAKE? I know, I know. I feel the same way. But traditionally her mother makes her peanut butter pie for her birthday only now she lives way down here below the belt and her mom is way up in Illinois. Suggestions? Anybody got a recipe that they've used and approved? I gotta have it by monday so I cans make piiiiieeeee.

Supper

SPICY CHICKEN BLACK BEAN AND CORN STEW

This is what I made for supper tonight and it was FANTASTIC! This is Suzanne's Recipe and the original recipe just for reference sake. I kind of combined the two so this is "my" recipe:

2-3 cups of cooked chicken, chopped small
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can of pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 can of corn, drained and rinsed
1 (14.5 oz) can of tomato sauce
1/2 cup of Pace Picante' Sauce (mild)
3-4 cups of Chicken broth
1 tbsp onion powder
1 tbsp garlic powder
2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1 tsp seasoned salt
1/4 tsp paprika

Put the chicken, beans, corn tomato sauce and salsa into a crock pot. Cover with enough broth to reach your desired consistency. I used about 3-4 cups because I wanted mine to be between a thick stew and a soup. Add the seasonings and give it all a good stir. Heat on high until bubbly (about 3 hours) and then reduce heat to low and simmer until ready to serve.

This was awesome with some homemade cornbread. Ya-ya had a little with some cheese and sour cream, but I thought it was fantastic just plain. It didn't even need salt. Yummers!

Hurricane Weather

So today... I'm really cranky. Grumpy. Bitchy. Whatever you wanna call it. That would be me.

The day started out well enough. I only had to get up with the baby once during the night. My father fixed every broken thing in my little car, filled the tank up, and brought it over to me. I got three loads of laundry washed, folded, and put away. I started some yummy spicy chicken, black bean, and corn stew in the crock pot.

BUT. I'm tired and cranky. And I can't take a much needed nap because Tim is working today and it's not very wise to leave a four year old and a 5 month old unattended for time spans longer than say... 15 seconds?

I tried to boil an egg to go on a salad I wanted for lunch. I promptly forgot about it and when I finally remembered, the egg had boiled completely out of its shell. So then I opted to heat up some veggie soup for lunch instead. After Ya-Ya insisted she wanted some, I spooned a bit into a bowl for her, set her up at the dining room table and then sat down to have my soup. Approximately 15 seconds later I hear her start sobbing, "I DROOOOOPPPPPPEEEEDDDD IIIITTTTT!!!!" And no, I wasn't mistaken. It was coming from the living room because she decided that even though Mommy sat her at the TABLE and even though she is not allowed to eat in the living room, that she would take a HOT BOWL OF SOUP in there and spill it all over my already gloriously crappy carpet. Hooray. So now, along with various spilled beverage stains and cat hair, there are also smushed up carrots and peas and tomato broth. I HATE my carpet. With any luck the living room carpet will be replaced with some of our income tax money.

WHICH by the way, STILL ISN"T HERE! Grrrrr... It's been a week and I'm not exactly known for being patient. On top of which, I have things I need to DO with that check. Do ya hear that IRS people? Just kindly deposit my return and then back away slowly from the cranky pregnant woman!! Somebody quick! Throw her a reese's cup!

*sigh* On top of all that, I've been feeling kind of bummed and isolated lately. Some of that was remedied last night when we went to a friend's house for dinner and had a nice visit.... but for some reason people seem to think that I "don't want to be bothered," so I haven't heard from a lot of the people I normally communicate with in a couple of weeks. I feel out of the loop because I don't know what's going on in their lives and I'm nosey. So yeah....

Today is just an Eeyore, gloomy, cranky, hurricane weather kind of day.

What I did today:

I have been steadily poking and lurking around Chickens in the Road ever since I followed a link from Not Hannah's post for a homemade pop tart recipe and got a bit inspired. The blog's writer makes what she has termed "Grandmother Bread" which is a very similar recipe to a recipe that I often use to make bread.

I grew up on homemade bread. When we were little, Momma would make it all the time just for us to enjoy. As we made our way through grade school, she would send the loaves, still warm from the oven as gifts for all of our teachers. Being that we went to a small school and that there were 3 of us girls at the time, she got a reputation very fast and I remember that by the time I reached 4th grade my teacher was excited to have me in the class just because it meant she got a loaf of bread for thanksgiving and Christmas.

As we got older, we didn't really get treated to homemade bread as often. It became more of an event thing that Momma would make for church functions and weddings and that kind of thing. Now we're pretty lucky if we even get bread for Thanksgiving dinner at Momma's. Mostly she just cheats and uses the loaves from Schwan's. I gotta tell you.... it's kind of disappointing. *Laughs*

A few years ago, I got a hankering (yes, a hankering.. I am from the South after all) that just wouldn't quit for some homemade bread. I called Momma and had her email the "recipe" which is really very vague. It contains instructions like "a little of this and some of that." Her go-to recipe is one she kind of made up, putting things she had gleaned from other recipes all together, and requires that you make a starter. Now sometimes, when I'm really in the mood to spend that much time on bread, I'll make that recipe, but mostly I just use this recipe for Amish White Bread from allrecipes.

As I said, it's very close to Suzanne's recipe for Grandmother Bread except that the original recipe calls for a bit more sugar and a little more yeast. The Amish recipe also calls for 1/4 cup of oil, which hers does not. But both are dairy and egg free and VERY EASY. I would say practically fool proof. I love the Amish recipe. It's quick, calls for very little ingredients and it's extremely versatile. You can reduce the amount of sugar quite a bit without affecting the outcome of the recipe or the taste. Of course, made as is, the bread is a bit sweeter, but if you use the full amount called for it makes awesome cinnamon bread, sweet rolls, and so forth. Also sometimes, like today, I added a couple of cups of whole wheat flour in place of the All purpose and it's still amazing.

I just took it out of the oven about 25 minutes ago and between my husband and I we've already eaten about half a loaf. MMMMmmmm. There is just something so satisfying about eating bread you've made yourself. The whole process of kneading the dough is such a relaxing stress reliever. I feel so much better now. I don't know why I don't do this more often. I think I'm going to set a goal to make bread at least once a week. And who knows... maybe I'll even send a loaf or two to Ya-Ya's preschool teachers. I wonder if people would still appreciate something like that?

Favorite Things:

A post on a few of my favorite things



1. Okay, now I know that Fabuloso isn't a "green" product, but it's my FAVORITE cleaning product. Why? Because it WORKS and it's CHEAP. You can buy a HUGE bottle for like $2 and it lasts me about 3 months. You dilute it with water so it can be used as a spray cleaner and you can use it to mop floors with. Also: Fabuloso + Value Brand Magic Eraser will get rid of soap scum you didn't even know you had. I had a stain on the rim of the bathtub where Ya-Ya had put a sticker. When we finally got the sticker off it was very white where the sticker had been, but very scummy every where else. I tried EVERYTHING to get rid of the scummy part, but could never get it all the way cleaned off and it drove me crazy because the white part where the sticker had been was a constant reminder that the tub wasn't clean. But seriously, fabuloso sprayed on and left on for about oh... 15 seconds and then scrubbed with an el cheapo magic eraser took it off like no body's business. Which brings me to...

2. Magic Erasers.

I couldn't find a picture of the cheap brand, but seriously, save yourself the extra money because the wal-mart brand works just as well as the Mr. Clean and it's A)Cheaper, and B) You get 4 as opposed to only 2 in the box of Mr. Clean. I use them for everything.

3. This Website Not Hannah linked to it in her post for a recipe for Homemade Poptarts and I lost about 4 hours of my life over there. I want to print all the recipes. I want to make my own canned goods and corn husk wreaths and chicken bacon ranch french bread pizza. (oh yeah and on homemade bread no less). In short: I want to BE this woman. *sigh* It's now bookmarked and I keep going over there just to read and dream.

Bubba: A Sookie Stackhouse Review

Okay, I am moving through the Sookie Stackhouse novels very quickly. In fact, I finished off books 3 and 4 yesterday and am currently waiting for the 5th one in the series. While I am enjoying them, I just think it would be really redundant to review them all. So, I'm just going to talk about one of my favorite characters in the book.

I love Bubba the vampire, who is none other than GUESS WHO?! Now, I've never been a huge Elvis fan, but I love that they explain the numerous sightings since his death with vampirism.

According to the story, when Elvis was brought into the morgue after his drug overdose, there was still just a tiny spark of life left in him. The mortician, being a vampire and a fan, decided to "bring him over."

But apparently, during the process, something went amiss and now he's a bit of a ...uh..... well it's just that he's ..........not QUITE right. You can't call him Elvis for one, because it really upsets him. So they just call him Bubba, and now all of the vampire communities sort of pass him around because he's needs a lot of attention (read babysitting).

I don't really know if Bubba made the TV series or not, but his character in the books is absolutely priceless. He's very sweet and childlike in a ..... "don't-upset-him-dangerous" kind of way, because he is also very strong and simple minded. Every time he pops up in the books I just get tickled. I love it. I love the reactions from other characters whenever he shows up. Has anyone else read these? What did you think of Bubba?

Blue

It's raining outside today. All. Day. It's not an exciting rain like a thunderstorm or a down pour. It's not a comforting rain like warm summer rain. It's just a never ending, dreary gray rain that would put any chipper person in a blue kind of mood. Ha.... I feel kind of like the anti-post to Tammie's "It makes me smile" post the other day. Here are a few things that are kinda bumming me out:



* Remember the table I was supposed to inherit from Tim's grandparents? Well his Dad never brought it over because apparently it's been stored in the basement for the last some odd years and has been soaking up water. Lots of water. It's covered in mold and old paint, which are two things that are not good for serving food to babies on. So..... no table for the time being. What a bummer, though not really very much of a shock. Tim's grandma likes to give me broken things. I haven't figured out if it's meant as an insult.... if she just doesn't realize.... or if she has tremendous faith in my ability to make things over and make em work. It's a mystery... the woman's a few nuts short of a fruit cake, so who knows?



* Mom came this morning and took Ya-Ya for the day. She was keeping my niece as well and thought she might as well have them both. I should be grateful and excited to have this little bit of downtime, but honestly a house without Ya-Ya in it is a very quiet house indeed. Especially on a day like today when it could use a little bit of "larger than life" energy.



* The direct deposit from the IRS didn't come today either. Pooh. I hate waiting! It stinks.



I was really sure that there was way more than that bothering me today. *laughs* Oh well, maybe I'm not as bummed as I feel and I just need to get moving. Just kind of counteract my above doom and gloom, here are a few things that make me smile:



* Calvins big toothless grin. He smiles with his whole body. When he sees you and you talk to him he gets so excited that he balls his fists up, squinches up his arms and legs and then SMILES and pushes all his limbs out. Like a happy baby explosion. If he's not careful he's going to pop a blood vessel.



* Remember a few years ago with those little ceramic pots became popular? They each had a little clay label on the front that said like "Rainy Day Money" and such? Somewhere, I don't remember where, I found this one. I love it. It makes me smile to see it and to see other people's reactions when they read it.

I hate telephone solicitors. We have more than our fair share of problems with them because apparently our phone number used to belong to a business so we get THEIR solicitous phone calls too.

* One more thing for today that makes me smile. Organization! I LOVE organization. Now that the bottom room has all the book shelves in it and it's all organized, and all of my little plants have homes...this is my favorite room in the house. Sometimes I walk in here just to look at it. I drill other people who walk in there to see what they think of it. It makes me feel so accomplished! (yeah... i know... I'm a WEIRDO)

Tonight's Dinner: Lasagna Roll Ups:

Yum! I love these. It's basically all of the same things that you would put in a regular lasagna but rather than layering it, you spread your fillers onto lasagna noodles and then roll them up. It makes for a very pretty presentation and each roll up is the perfect serving size too. Company loves it. Plus the rolls freeze really well for lunch leftovers later on in the week. The recipe is very versatile too and allows for many different options.

Lasagna Roll Ups:

12 uncooked lasagna noodles

1 (15 oz) container part skim Ricotta Cheese

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 cups grated Mozzarella cheese

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tbsp Italian seasoning

1 egg

~2 cups spaghetti sauce (Use homemade, jar, can, meat sauce, non-meat, whatever your preference)

1 cup chopped spinach (optional of course)

1 9x13 inch baking dish

* Cook the noodles according to the package instructions. I usually leave mine just a tiny bit underdone so they don't turn to mush.

* Mix together the Ricotta cheese, Parmesan cheese, and 3/4 cup of the Mozzarella cheese. Add the egg, the onion powder, garlic powder, Italian seasoning and the spinach. Mix well and set aside. (Side note- the original recipe calls for soft tofu to be mixed in with the cheese if you are a no-meat-eater person and having tried it, it's pretty darn good)

* Spread a thin layer of sauce into the bottom of the casserole pan to keep the noodles from sticking.

* After the noodles are done, drain them and spread them onto a cookie sheet to cool a bit.

* Begin by spreading a layer of the cheese filling the entire length of one noodle. Add a layer of sauce on top of that. Then starting at one end, roll the noodle up and then place in the casserole dish, seam side down. Repeat with the remaining noodles. My 9x13 inch pans fits them perfectly 3 to each row.

* Spread the remaining sauce over the tops of the roll ups and then sprinkle with the remaining Mozzarella cheese.

* Bake @ 375 for 25-35 minutes or until sauce is bubbly and cheese is all melty and delicious. Enjoy! YUMMY!

Just a Few Things: UPDATED

* It turns out my car isn't broken after all. It has simply developed a new quirk. The solution? Apparently you have to put it in neutral to start it. Hoo-rah for old quirky vehicles!

* All three bookcases are now up and stacked with books. I have about one shelf open and for some reason this has encouraged Tim and I to buy a few new books. I anticipate we might need another bookcase sooner than later. But the bottom room is looking great and it's possible that in a few more days I might feel the need to take some pictures.

* We got Tim's W-2 today. YAY! *dances*

* We had drop in company today. Let me take a moment to explain that while I will say, "Come visit me anytime!" I in all honesty hate drop in company. What I mean is "Please call me at least 1 hour in advance of visiting so I can clean up the cardboard boxes and remnants from putting up my new bookshelves, wipe down the counters, put away all the jackets and shoes, and vacuum up what is apparently an entire can of pringles crushed into the carpet! Please, Please do not call me when you are five minutes down the road and ask to come visit and give my poor little OCD heart a serious flip-flop. Please believe me when I say it's bad time and don't decide to come on over anyway." All of this especially applies if you are Tim's grandparents... which they were. GREAT.

* On the other hand, my "new" slightly bigger dining room table will be here in about an hour courtesy of said grandparents. That combined with how much I actually got done in that 5 minute power clean that I don't have to do now I GUESS excuses them.

* My computer hates facebook. Does anybody else's computer hate facebook? Every time I try to go over there my internet browser repeatedly refreshes the page. It only does it on facebook.

* Went to see Avatar in 3D. It's a bad idea to see a movie like Avatar in 3D in the first trimester of pregnancy. I got motion sickness. I was sick all the way home. Pooh.

Where I'm At:

Since my post about finding out I was pregnant (my 100th blog post btw!) is still getting comments, I thought I would post an update on where I'm at mentally and emotionally.



I had my first doctor's visit this morning and I can now say for sure that I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant. The initial shock of being pregnant again so soon is fast beginning to wear off. No more whining and whimpering......at least not for the time being. I'm not making any promises that I won't have some break downs in the future. But for now, I'm mostly feeling okay. That's if you take away the sudden onslaught of nausea and IBS (ew... did I just say that on the internet?).


We are starting to get excited around here about the new little one. Our families have been told. We've broken the news to our friends. I'm glad to say that largely we've been met with excitement and happy surprise. None of the ugly hurtful judgmental kind of surprise yet. We've told Ya-ya and the baby. Ya-Ya is considerably more excited than the baby, but this is largely due to the baby's not understanding what we are saying yet. Ya-ya insists that this is the baby sister she has been wishing for and refuses to hear otherwise. Whenever we ask her what she would think of another brother, she looks at us like we're nuts and then goes off on a tangent about how she and her baby sister will share a room and will have bunk beds and how she'll get to sleep on the top of course because she is the oldest, and so forth and so on. She also seems to think that we will be naming the new baby something along the lines of "Princess Rainbow Colored Unicorn." Yeah... keep dreaming kid.


I have decided that the more organized and prepared I feel I am, the more sanity I will be able to hold onto. I have dived right into my "preparing." So far, we've moved the rest of my sister-in-law's things out of the back bedroom. Since this is the bigger of the two kids' rooms, it is going to become the nursery. My older sister has offered us her crib, so we will put both in the bigger room and I'm going to put my Papa and my father-in-law on watch duty for a couple of chest-of-drawers. For now, Ya-Ya will stay in the smaller front bedroom. If the baby is a boy, then the back room will be shared by the two babies. If the baby is a girl, then when she is older, we will put the girls in the back room and Calvin in the little room. But for now, the nursery it will become.


Tim's grandmother is passing along a bigger dining room table. The table is the same style as the one I currently have, but it's a bit bigger and it comes with one bench. Perfect! The old dining table is going into the new sewing/craft room (remember the closet sized room I spoke of earlier that we keep throwing random junk in? yeah... that room) to act as a sewing table. Today I bought a few new bookshelves from hellmart ($25 dollars?! it's kind of a shame that you can't really beat that) which will help with cleaning out and organizing the craft room. They will go in the bottom room that is basically a converted garage that we have used to store random junk in since we've moved here. (are you sensing a pattern here?) We are making huge progress on making that room of our house an actual... well.. ROOM. It now houses the computer desk, the piano, and three new book shelves which will soon be home to all of the books flying around the house.


Ahh... organization. How it calms me! How it gives me confidence and sweet sanity! In other news my tiny 1994 Nissan sentra has finally given out completely. It's been a long time coming I'm afraid with the car barely hanging on for dear life. Somehow it's managed to keep trudging along, but on Sunday it just finally gave it's last breath. We can't jump it off, we can't start it at all. It just sits there like, "No! No! I can't go on another mile!!! Go on without me!!!" I'm afraid that even if we managed to fix it, there isn't any way that I'm going to finagle two car seats and a booster seat into it. Or Tim's car for that matter which can only very uncomfortably fit one car seat, one booster and two adults in it. I haven't quite figured out what we are going to end up doing about the car situation yet. Anybody want to donate a van?! No? ... Ah well, just checking. It never hurts to ask.


At any rate, both mentally and emotionally I'm doing much better now. I am kind of feeling like, "Ok,.... I can do this. I really can." This, as your comments have shown me, is not exactly uncharted territory. Many women have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. I also am very relieved that whatever infertility problem I had while trying to get pregnant with Calvin is obviously gone now. This has been pointed out to me by a number of people including one of the nurses who also pointed out that "Well, at least I make pretty babies!" And you know, she's right. Babies are beautiful and as I sit and cuddle on the couch with Calvin I think... yeah... I could definitely get some more of this going on.


Thank you a million times by the way for all of the comments and support. I kind of didn't expect so much feedback, but it's nice to know that when I'm here typing away that there are people who are actually reading it.

Book Review: Dead Until Dark

LOVED IT! Addicted. In fact, I just sent the hubby out to the store to buy the next book in the series because after all, it's still early and I don't have plans for tomorrow.

Being originally from Lafitte, LA right outside of New Orleans, I really enjoyed Harris's characters. A lot of them reminded me of my relatives, and I loved her choice of character names. I thought she fleshed all of them out really well and I found them all to be really believable. P.S.- I love that the vampire's name is Bill instead of some kuschy name like "Pierre."

Other than that I really liked the mix of mystery, murder, and the supernatural and of course the romantic interest. My kind of book. Can't wait to start the next one!

Book Review: Resurrection Dreams

I give this book 1 star out of 5. It was boring. B.O.R.I.N.G. Which is exactly what you don't want your book to be when it's supposed to be of the horror/thriller genre'.

In the book, a messed up kid named Melvin (seriously?) tries to resurrect the corpse of a fellow student who died in a car crash as his high school science project. He then becomes obsessed with the thought of resurrecting dead women and giving them ever lasting life, one in particular, Viki, the story's main character.

The concept might have been a good one, but it wasn't carried out very well. The characters are bland and uninteresting. The dialogue both inner and shared among characters leaves a lot to be desired. The book lacks an overall creepy vibe. I had to force myself through a little over half of it, where upon I just gave up. It was taking SOOOOO long to read through. I'd get a few pages in and then my mind would start wondering off to more interesting topics like..... lint and dust bunnies, counting spots on the ceiling, that sort of thing.

In other words: Not a keeper.

They Say

They say every thing happens for a reason..........

They say that God will never give you anything that you can't handle..........


I'm not sure I agree with this "they."

I just found out that I'm pregnant.

Again.

Already.

I am overwhelmed with conflicting emotions right now. I don't even know HOW to feel. It's not that I never wanted to have another child. I just didn't want one right now. I wanted to have the chance to enjoy Calvin as the baby and even as a toddler before deciding on another baby.

I feel .......stupid for one. I feel so stupid for not being more careful. I fought my doctor against birth control. My first and only experience with it was right after Ya-ya was born. It was horrible. I lost myself, lost complete control over my emotions, and gained about 40 pounds that i am STILL fighting to lose. I told that doctor that I would rather end up pregnant again than to go on birth control.... and well whatdoya know. Now I have to make an appointment to go sit and be judged by that man... by the nurses.

I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I feel like I'm depriving the Baby of getting to BE the baby. He's not quite five months old yet and already there's another little one on the way. I feel guilty because I'm not 100% excited. I feel guilty because I'm upset and even a little embarrased. I feel guilty because I'm not ready for this and all I can think right now is how in the world am I going to DO this?

How am I going to take care of an infant and a one year old baby at the same time. They are both going to need me SO MUCH. And on top of that I will have a 5 year old starting Kindergarten who is going to need my attention and my support. Where am I going to find another baby crib? I'm going to have to have TWO baby beds... AT THE SAME TIME! How am I going to get Ya-ya ready for school, feed a new baby, and feed a one year old? At the same time? I'm not going to get more than 5 hours sleep for the next 2 years. AT LEAST.

And I know. I know I sound horribly selfish and ungrateful. But, honestly.....I don't know how else to feel. I'm scared and upset and just completely blown away. And 100% NOT READY. But I guess I'll just have to put on my mommy panties and suck it up, because this is happening, one way or another. And I guess maybe once I get over the shock I'll start to get excited. I hope so. I WANT to be. I'm just not right now.

Mom is though. Go figure. She's ecstatic. Which I guess she can be since she gets to get a full 8-10 hours sleep every night. *sigh* Oh well... what the heck... I guess I'm pregnant. Again. Already.

Funny Mr. Alligator

So, Ya-Ya learned this little song at preschool today, and decided to share it with the baby. I was cooking dinner and as usual, just as I got started, Ya-ya came in to watch me and play 20 questions:

"What is THAT?"

"Can I have something else for supper?"

"Why aren't you making spaghetti?"

And as usual, the baby started to get fussy as he usually does when he feels he's being ignored. I employed my usual diversion to gain about 15 minutes: "Ya-ya... go talk to your brother, he's bored."

As I'm cooking, I hear Ya-Ya start off singing her new favorite song, "There were 5 little monkeys, sitting in a tree, teasing Mr. Alligator Can't Catch me! Then creepy Mr. Alligator, quiet as can be, snapped! one monkey right out of the tree!"

Second verse, same as the first, except for every time she sang "Teasing Mr. Alligator," the baby would laugh. This is the first instance where the baby has laughed because he found something to be humorous. Usually you have to catch him in the right mood and tickle him to get a giggle. But she's been singing for him for the last 15 minutes and he STILL thinks she's hilarious. I had to make a video so Tim could see it when he gets home from work. And I thought I'd share it with you all too.

Random Things:

I am not really enjoying my new book. So far, about 40 pages into it and I'm finding it difficult to remain interested. In fact today, I picked up my issue of Prevention fitness magazine instead of this book. Pretty bad that I'd rather read disheartening fitness news than a book that is supposed to be a thriller. Maybe it will get more interesting soon.

While reading through the Prevention magazine I came across a sample of their book 400 Calorie Fix, which is a diet plan that they created. The idea is that you eat 4 400 calorie meals per day. I'm pretty interested in this and am seriously considering buying the book. Some of the examples they presented for the snacks included 5 Oreo cookies and milk, and popcorn and beer. Not that I eat junk like that all the time, but the fact that I could eat those things and still truthfully claim, "I'm on a diet!" is pretty awesome. I haven't exactly officially stated weight loss as a resolution, but that's mostly because it's more or less an ongoing thing for me. While I haven't had a significant set back, I have gained back about 10 pounds over the last three or four months. So I definitely need to get myself back on track. So yeah... seriously thinking of springing the 30 bucks for the book.

Finally unpacked my new sewing machine today. Ya-Ya started back at preschool this morning and was kind of upset that she didn't have any momma made goodies that she could wear today. Everything I've made for her up to this point has been holiday themed. As well as hoping to tackle a few outfits for her in the next couple of weeks, I really want to make one of those nifty patchwork bath mats everyone has been turning out lately. I also want to make me a couple of scarves for my upcoming trip to Michigan.

Oh yeah, did I mention I'm going to Michigan?! In FEBRUARY?! My BEST friend, my kindred spirit... my soul twin lives in Michigan. We met, as crazy as it sounds, on a myspace group forum 3 years ago. We started out exchanging emails, then chatting, and then just said to heck with it and started talking on the phone. It's kind of nifty in that as we've gotten to know each other we've discovered astounding similarities in our lives like those stories you hear about twins that were separated at birth including: Both having a daughter named Nadia, having almost the EXACT same, handmade wedding dress, picking out the same pair of glasses, and other various little things that just pop up. Our families thought we were crazy at first for striking up such a close friendship essentially over the internet... but now they just kind of accept it. I mean, in this world of internet dating and match making websites, making a friend that way really isn't all that strange. She ended up coming down here for my baby shower in July, which is the first time we ever met in person. And in february, I'm going up to Michigan to visit her and meet her family. I'm so excited..... except for the whole it's CRAZY FREEZING up there! I don't even know what to pack because my "winter" gear consists of one light jacket, a hoodie, and a couple of light sweaters. That's pretty much all we need down here.

That about sums up the random things that are on my mind at the moment. Oh yeah... if you look over to the right and bottom of my blog you'll see my new spiffy shelfari book shelf. I'll be adding books as I read them for this year as a way to keep track of what I'm reading. I have another one that has all the books I own and have read in the past on there too but, I started a new one for this year. Right now, of course, it only has like 2 books on there, but it should be more interesting to look at further on in the year.

First Book of the New Year:

So for the first book of the new year/new decade, I finally got a hold of a copy of "The Lovely Bones." I read it in 2 days and I really thought it was a great story. Not quite as spooky or as sad as I had anticipated, but still very good nonetheless. Can't wait for the book discussion in February over on Irregular Tammie.

I've already started my second book. I'm kind of excited about keeping track of the books I read this year. What can I say? I love lists!

In other news, things have finally slowed down a little bit around here. I've mostly been enjoying the down time by being lazy and lounging around reading all day. It's been quite nice.

I still haven't taken my new sewing machine out of the box yet. I have this one room in my house right now that is basically just junky. As I've moved through and cleaned and organized every other room and closet in the house, I've been chucking things in there that I just don't know what to do with. I'm putting off opening my new sewing machine until I can get that room cleaned and organized into a sewing/craft room of sorts for myself. The problem is... I just can't get motivated to get in there. I walk in there, look around, sigh, and walk back out, closing the door behind me. It's FULL of BOOKS. They are everywhere. On every available surface, in piles on the floor.... it's ridiculous. How can two people who read so much have absolutely ZERO bookshelves?!

So to add to my new year's resolutions I'm vowing to buy book shelves. I don't know where I'm going to put them yet, but I do know that we definitely NEED them.

The baby is doing well with his sleeping. Not exactly sleeping all the way through the night, but he's at least on a fairly regular schedule. He takes a long morning nap, a short afternoon nap, and then at night he will sleep for a 6 or 7 hour stretch, followed by a feeding and about 3 more hours of sleep. I think that's pretty awesome for a 4 1/2 month old.

Speaking of the baby, he is currently ready for his morning nap and getting quite cranky, so I'll be heading back to the mommy grind now.